to get used to this misery. Nor to the sight of death in the field. You just get used to controlling your face and suppressing your feelings. The only alternative is to go mad.
"Why is he moaning like an old woman?" I am not angry. I screamed too. But I want the nurse to talk to me. I want her to sit there and help me to fight against the night.
"You should be ashamed of yourself." she rebukes me. "He is in a very, very bad way."
"What’s the matter with him?"
A bullet hit him in the chest. Two holes - in front the entry point, the exit from his back. He was treated Idee anyone with an injured lung. It was not until this evening, when the records of liquid intake and output were checked, that it was noticed that he was drinking far too much. A clear sign of a stomach wound. He was given another thorough examination. It was found the bullet had indeed entered his chest and exited through his back, but on its way it severely dam-aged nearly all his internal organs.
Tomorrow morning a desperate attempt will be made to operate on him. Rachel did not say "if he is still alive." But it was clearly writ-ten in her face. Tomorrow morning. Still ten hours to go ... an eter-nity for someone who is fighting for his life.
I am on my own. Rachel has left. The sound of the saw fills the room. It seems to be getting louder all the time. Soon my skull will burst. It will drive me mad if it does not stop. You should be able to close your ears. Doesn’t work. Concentrate on other sounds. There are other sounds. There always are. You just have to listen properly.
Where did I hear that before? The start of the first night exercise. Twelve young city boys in a dark field, feeling nervous. Silence all around. Not a sound. We hear nothing. "Listen," says Musa, the squad leader. "Nature is noisy. Thousands of sounds. You just have to listen properly. Can you hear? This whistling, that is the wind in the trees over there. Listen: one, two, three dogs are barking to the north-east. There must be a house there. And now - the distant rat-tie of a car. You must learn to open your dirty ears to these noises. That can save your life. They will hide the noise of your steps from the enemy, and they will betray the enemy. Pay attention to the cicadas..."